My dad took early retirement at age 55. He lived in Florida in a retirement community, and, to me, it seemed like bliss. As a young mother, I yearned for his stress-free life. Instead, I was raising two young children and working about 60 hours a week. Yes, I loved the children dearly but with children, comes constant interaction, activity and little down time. I awaited the time that they would be grown, self-sufficient, and and I could retire.
Well, life isn’t always such a neat little package. My dad, sadly died at age 65 after 10 years of marriage to his second wife, my stepmother. Then, my children were just ages 2 and 7 years. But because I had worked for 30 years for the USDA (the federal government) and as a university professor, I too was able to retire earlier than age 65. I was 56.
Like my dad, I remarried and yes, the children did grow up. But now that I have been retired for 15 years, I can reflect on this major life phase and have some advice and some thoughts for those “yearning for retirement.”
First, realize that your life is full of unexpected events and surprises – not all of them are filled with delight! Dad contracted prostate cancer that led to lung, then bone cancer. Having just been married to my stepmother for 10 years, he wasn’t ready to die. It was a surprise to all of us that his retirement was cut short.
Alternatively, I have enjoyed 15 amazing retirement years. Most of it happy, but some very sad. Not to dwell on the sad part, but to instead recognize that after 10 years in retirement, I have experienced my share of losses including the deaths of my beautiful daughter at age 35 and my only brother at age 63.
The positive parts have been more than I could have imagined. So here are my tips and my experiences.
If you can afford to, go ahead and retire while you are healthy. Don’t wait until there is a major health issue. That’s no fun. You have put in many long hours, and you deserve it.
Make a plan. Don’t think that doing those little extra chores like painting the dining room or making a piece of furniture will sustain you. You need a larger plan. You can only sit and rock on the porch for so long until relaxation turns to loss, sadness, and depression. Many become consultants in exactly what they did prior. I made the decision to do something completely different. In my second marriage, we could create something that we both invested in. Investing in a mutual goal is good for the marriage! Perhaps ask yourself, how you can use your talents and skills to re-create yourself in retirement. Will you become a volunteer working on a major community project? Will you start a small business? Will you take on a second career? I chose something totally different than meetings and teaching, yet I still use my talents and experience with meetings and teaching in what I do. I worked in a university setting (some may even call a bubble) for my professional career. In retirement, we are running a small business. The beauty of owning our business is that I (we) can still work in the community too! And with a Bed & Breakfast, the interaction with some remarkable people who walk through our door is a bonus!
Retirement is longer that you think. I am healthy (except for my worn our joints that have had to be replaced) so I it is perceivable that I could be retired for as long as I had worked! My mother lived to age 84 so predictably, I could live until my 80’s. But the question becomes, do I want to run our small business with Jack until I am 86? That is just 15 more years. So, maybe I need another new plan.
What are your dreams? When I think back to my career course, as with many people, I could have taken various paths. I didn’t plan and calculate that I would complete a Ph.D. and become a tenured professor but I did, and I loved all of it (except the stressful parts). I often dreamed that in my NEXT LIFE, I would like to be a country singer. I didn’t see that as a fit in this life with being a professor. In retirement you can reflect on those dreams. Make your dreams a reality.
In retirement there are surprises. Go with them! I never thought I would join a rock band. Along with eight retirees, we create boomer-era music as a way to fulfill ourselves while turning music into a community action by playing shows for free to help non-profits. It’s amazing! Of course, there are rehearsals and personal expenditures, but luckily this fits nicely into my retirement life. It was a total surprise.
6. Hopefully there will be grand children to enjoy in your retirement. It’s your chance to interact with children all over again, then give them back to their parents!
Retirement is a journey, equally as important as your career years! It’s just another phase! And like one of my heroes, Fred Rogers said, “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
Thoughtful and sage advice. You forgot to mention that you and Jack pack a lot of living into your days being involved and active!